Today I leave for my fifth chemo treatment? Did I actually just type that? There are days that I still can't believe I am being treated for breast cancer. What's even more difficult to believe is that this will be my fifth treatment!! That means only 3 more after this one. You know, chemo is a funny thing. When I was diagnosed, I think the word "chemo" might have actually scared me more than the word "cancer". The crazy thing is, a lot of women with my diagnosis would have opted to not have chemotherapy and perhaps it would not have even been offered. However, because of my age, I was offered this choice. As much as I dreaded taking chemo, I never thought twice about it. There were times when I would hear about another women with a similar diagnosis who was not taking chemo and I would wonder how I was chosen as the "lucky" one. I have to sometimes remind myself that taking chemotherapy means I have done everything possible to beat this cancer. There are people everyday who wish they could take chemotherapy, but that is no longer an option for them. I am blessed to have had this choice and to know that it IS going to save my life. My first treatment was 8 weeks ago tomorrow. My last treatment is in just 6 short weeks! Wow! I am going to make it through and God is going to be right there when I ring that victory bell at my last treatment!
I am blessed to have two great girlfriends taking me up for my treatment this week, my best friend Hilary, and a great friend from church, Doreen. As many of you know, Doreen is a breast cancer survivor herself. She is such an inspiration to me! It's unfortunate that our trip has to involve a chemo treatment, but at least it will allow me to feel halfway normal for part of the trip! Ryan returned home from Las Vegas yesterday so he is going to get some much needed one-on-one time with Charley!
On one final note.....BRACE YOURSELF.....I have been wearing my wig the past week! I know, call me crazy! I was so SICK of wearing hats. Plus, I was constantly running into people because I could not see out the sides due to my glasses. It also affected my ability to drive safely, but that's another story. So, last week before I headed out I decided to put my wig on just for kicks. It didn't look half bad and if felt GREAT to have hair on my head! So, I ventured out into the world, just me and my wig. Now, I am pretty aware of people's reactions to others so I was constantly watching to see if someone was looking at me any length of time that would be considered unreasonable. I have to say, I don't think anyone, besides those that know me, knew I was wearing a wig. Yesterday someone even told me I had "the cutest hair." Thank goodness she didn't ask me where I get it cut! Wearing my wig gave me a new outlook. I feel more like a real person when I wear it. I feel healthy. I feel that I don't have "She has cancer" screaming at everyone. What I wish everyone knew is that I HAD cancer. Unfortunately when you are being treated with chemotherapy everyone just assumes you have cancer. Oh Well. I was guilty of making those same assumptions. Thankfully, now I look at all people going through chemotherapy differently and you should do the same.
I will be posting pictures from our girls trip in St. Louis so keep checking back. Oh, and by the way, just in case you get confused, I'm the Hot Blond! God Bless!