Well, the past few days have not been easy. It is so hard to for me to describe the pain but the best way I know how is for you to imagine what it feels like to have 50 pounds of pressure on your chest. You can't sit up, you can't lay down, you can only sleep on your back. There is no comfortable position. On top of that, you have a drain coming out of each of your sides that sucks fluid from your body and disposes of it in what looks like little plastic grenades that are pinned to the inside of your shirt or gown. These must be emptied twice a day...thank you Ryan. You can't shower and are barely able to bathe. You can't shave your armpits and washing your hair is something that you only do when it starts looking really greasy. And on top of all this, the pain medicine that you are taking causes constipation. Welcome to my world.
I have been feeling really down the past couple of days and have been waiting to post a blog until I was feeling better. However, I'm not sure when that will be. Because I know that so many of you are checking the blog religiously, I decided to go ahead and do a post and let you know how things are really going. I guess every blog can't be rosy posy. Also, if you all are checking the blog, then I know I can rely on you to pray. So, I am going to make a short list of some very specific things I would like for you to include in your prayers. Here goes:
1. That I would gain back some of my strength and that the pain, or whatever is making me so uncomfortable would subside.
2. That with each new day I would start feeling less victimized by my surgery.
3. That God would continue to pull my family through this.
4. That I would remember and continue to be thankful that I am CANCER FREE.
Thank you and I know I will reap the benefits of your prayers. This is the first time I have ever had a major surgery and I had no idea what to expect. I really thought I would be able to just bounce back. Ryan keeps reminding me that having both breast removed is NOT like having a tooth removed. It will take me longer, much longer, to recover.