Today I Celebrate Being a Survivor for Two Years!

Two years ago today I had a bilateral mastectomy.  It was a bitter sweet day.  Walking into the hospital at 5:30 in the morning I knew I was going in with my breasts and I would leave without them.  However, I also knew that I was walking in with cancer and would walk out cancer free.  Having the bilateral mastectomy was just the beginning of the journey.  Months of chemotherapy and reconstruction would follow.  Now, two years later, I do not look like a woman who has had breast cancer.  July 16th will always be a milestone in my life....another year of being cancer free.  Praise the Lord! 

Here are some pics that were taken the morning of my mastectomy and during my time in the hospital.

Before Surgery.....

Right after surgery.  Charley brought me one of her stuffed animals from home.

Relaxing....or trying to relax!

Charley, Me, and Ryan

Two years later!!!!!

Susan Komen Race 2010

Thank you God for Life and for the ability to bring hope to others!  On June 12th, I ran (ok....I ran 1/2 of the time but that is only because it was 115 degrees) in the Susan Komen Race in St. Louis. Last year was my first year to run the race and it was at that time I decided that I would participate every year that I could from that point on. Being a part of the Susan Komen Race for a Cure is amazing. There are no words to describe the number of women affected by breast cancer or the number of people who participate. This year there were nearly 72,000 participants and 3.4 million raised to end breast cancer forever! It felt so good to have Ryan and Charley there with me. Charley actually walked in the Survivor Procession with me and that was EXTRA special. If you have never participated in a Susan Komen Race, I would highly encourage you to do so...whether you have been directly affected by breast cancer or not. It is incredibly inspiring to see so many come together for an amazing cause. Below is a link to a slide show I put together of the Race. The song "I Run for Life" by Melissa Etheridge plays along with the slide show. I heard it for the first time the day of the race and it really prepared me to run (walk) 3.1 miles. You will have to watch the slide show several times to hear the entire of the song...but it's worth it!  Enjoy!

Susan Komen Race 2010

Hope Comes From Having Purpose

After several months of neglecting this blog, I decided to pay it a visit. I was amazed by the number of people who still continue to find my blog and read about my journey. With that being said, I was disappointed in myself for not having posted anything sooner. So, for those who are currently visiting the blog.....I am here to tell you that LIFE IS GREAT!!! I have been enjoying a fun-filled summer with my daughter, Charley, and husband, Ryan. Charley turned 4 on June 29th. Two weeks before Charley turned 2 years old I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So, every birthday is a milestone. Not only is my daughter one year older, but I am one year further away from that diagnosis. Praise the Lord!

When I was first diagnosed, I chose to believe that it was for a reason. Although I was consumed with despair and feelings of fear....I really did believe that God would one day use me and my journey to make a difference. For the past two years, I have waited patiently for the Lord to open that door of opportunity and in the past few months, I have seen that door slowly begin to open. Glory to God! Just recently I received a call from Oglivy marketing firm in NY,NY. They have asked myself, along with several other women across the United States, to represent Myriad Genetic Testing as a patient speaker. I will be a part of what is called the BRCA Pack. This is a group of women who have tested positive for either the BRCA 1 or 2. Of these women, some have had cancer, some have not. Some have chosen to have prophylactic mastectomies as a preventative measure, and again, some have not. Some are like me and tested positive after they were diagnosed. The BRCA Pack represents a number of women affected in one way or another with the BRCA gene who want to share their story and be an advocate for genetic testing. In October, Ogilvy will fly me to Salt Lake City, Utah. That is where the Myriad Genetic Testing Lab is located. I will have a chance to share my story personally, meet with people from the marketing firm, and tour the lab. Once I return home, I will be used by Ogilvy to travel around the country and speak to physicians, media, and others on the importance of genetic testing along with sharing my personal story. I am so excited for this opportunity and know that it comes from God!

In addition to being a part of the BRCA pack, I am working closely with an amazing photographer on a possible project that could be life changing for those affected by breast cancer. I won't go into much detail now, as we are just in the beginning stages of the project. However, there is no doubt that God's favor is working. My prayer is that this project will bring hope to not only women affected directly by breast cancer, but hope to those who are affected indirectly. There are so many people that often get lost in the mix when a loved one or a friend is diagnosed. This project will be one that impacts husbands, children, friends, physicians, and others.

If you are reading this and have been diagnosed with breast cancer, don't give up hope....no matter where you are in your journey. I am currently reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. The following is an excerpt from his book: "Hope is essential to your life as air and water. You need hope to cope. Dr. Bernie Siegel found he could predict which of his cancer patients would go into remission by asking, "Do you want to live to be one hundred?" Those with a deep sense of life purpose answered yes and were the ones most likely to survive. Hope comes from having purpose." Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a horrible thing. I know first hand. However, your journey with breast cancer also gives you a great purpose in life, if you choose to believe that. God Bless!

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you; plans to bring you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Getting Back to Healthy

I am not a winter person. I LOVE fall and I LOVE Spring, but whatever that junk is in between, I am NOT a fan. Since I choose to live in the midwest where every season is very distinct, I do try and make the most of the long, cold winter. My three year old daughter thinks that the snow is AMAZING. I will admitt that it is fun to watch her face as she sleds or makes snow angels. However, it always seems our "fun" lasts about 15 minutes before she is a wet, cold mess. 15 minutes of fun when it took us at least 30 to get all our snow gear on. Oh Well.

Something else that winter does to me is takes away my enthusiasm to work-out. About a year ago I started running. I have NEVER been a runner. I was the kid in elementary school that would run a 20 min. mile and be the VERY LAST one to finish. I HATED running. After I was diagnosed with cancer, I knew that I would need to make some major changes in my life following my recovery. One of them being I needed to start exercising regularly. I live in a great neighborhood outside of the city limits where I can run and run and run. Once my body adjusted to a daily run of 2 to 3 miles, I really began to love it. My body would crave it. I was actually fortunate enough to participate in several 5K's over the next 6 months.

Then, came Old Man Winter. Running in the cold is like soaking my lungs in ice water. Therefore, I pretty much quit running for about 5 months. I know some of you are wondering why I didn't choose to go to a gym and run on a treadmill. First, going to the gym with my daughter is not an easy task and not one where I want to dish out money for childcare. The other thing is, I HATE running and not going anywhere! When I run, I want to see that I have made progress....that I'm actually getting somewhere. So, after months of little to no exercise, I feel that I am starting over. I have only run a few times in the recent weeks and I will say that this time around seemed easier than last year. I feel amazing after a good run. My goal is to get back into the swing of things and make sure that I run at least 2 miles daily. I know to some of you this sounds like very little, however to me, it is as if I am running a marathon.

I will keep you posted on my progress. My hope is that I will be able to participate in several 5K's in the coming months. I know I won't come in first, but I also know I won't be that same kid from elementary school that always came in last.

God Bless!

A New Fight

Cancer sucks. I just don't know how else to put it...well, I can think of a few other ways but I will keep those thoughts stored away in my head. I can't help but wonder what's in the water sometimes. Last week we found out that my father-in-law has throat cancer. Less than two years after my diagnosis and we are dealing with cancer in our family once again. It's just as hard to come to terms with his diagnosis as it was mine in June 2008. We do not know many of the details at this point. What we do know is that he has been told the cancer is inoperable without major disfiguartion. With that being said, Ryan and I have encouraged him and my mother-in-law to seek a second opinion.

When we first learned of his diagnosis, Ryan and I couldn't help but praise God for knowledge and wisdom. Less than two years ago I had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had received treatment at one of the best cancer treatment center's in America, Siteman Cancer Treatment Center in St. Louis, MO. I had been blessed with an oncologist that believed I would survive and did everything in his power to ensure that is exactly what happened. With that being said, Ryan and I have arranged for his dad to see an oncologist at Siteman as well. We want nothing more than for him to receive the best possible care and be completely cured, both of which we know he will receive at Siteman.

When I first started this blog, the one thing I asked was that for everyone who read my blog to say a prayer for me. I have no doubt that the thousands upon thousands of prayers played a role in my complete healing. I would like to ask that anyone who reads this posting today or in the coming days or months, say a prayer for my father-in-law. His name is Roger and his wife is Sharon. We know God is faithful in his promises and we know that NOTHING is to big for God. Thank you in advance for your prayers!

Blessings!

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you; plans to bring you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Bigger and Better

I was so relieved last January when I had finally completed my last surgery and knew I was well on my way to living a healthy life. It took several months for my new boobies to heal and for me to get a good idea of how they would look. Once they were completely healed I noticed that they seemed a little flat and wide. I thought perhaps it was just my perception of them so I of course enlisted the opinion of my husband and several girl friends. The census was out and they were indeed flat...and wide. Now, after having gone through losing my breasts at a mere 28 years old, flat and wide was not exactly what I had pictured for myself when this was all said and done. Although I new that my boobs would never look as good as the woman who gets implants and already has boobs, I expected that something could be done to improve my look.

After visiting with my plastic surgeon (whom I adore) he explained to me that the implants I currently had were called Moderate Plus Profile. Apparently these implants are used in most cases. However, since I did not have any breast tissue to support these implants, the silicone inside just seemed to kind of spread out creating a flat and wide breast. I can't imagine the image you have in your head right now! My plastic surgeon explained to me that in some cases a high profile implant can be used. This type of implant sticks out further and sits up higher on the chest. I loved the sound of that and he was convinced I would be a great candidate for this type of implant. I was now scheduled for more surgery in less than a week! So, in April of 2009 I had my first set of implants removed and expanders put back in. These expanders stretched my skin forward, rather than out to the side. They were actually expanders that are used specifically for women who choose the high profile implants. After a few months of stretching skin, I had my high-profile implants installed. I LOVE THEM!!! Not only are they better...they are bigger! Now, don't worry, they aren't Heidi Montag big. They are just perfect...but certainly bigger than what I had before this journey began.

If you are facing breast reconstruction in the future, know that there are different types of implants! The thought of getting a boob job prior to breast cancer had never even crossed my mind...ok...maybe it had crossed my mind but it wasn't an option. I was uneducated so therefore I didn't ask many questions when discussing my implant options. Make sure you know what you are getting before it's to late. For me, the worst part about it was knowing that I was racking up another $5000 in medical bills. However, I new I wouldn't be happy until my flat and wide boobies were bigger and better!


The image below shows the three different types of memory gel implants. The second implant is the one I had the first time. The third implant is the one I currently have. Can You See The Difference?



For more information on implants, click HERE!!

I'm Back!!!

A little over a year ago I made what I thought would be my last blog post. I have come back to this blog time and time again and read through my postings, sometimes not believing that what I read is MY journey. It seems unreal to think that almost two years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Wow. I continue to receive emails from women who are somehow led to my blog and are inspired. What a blessing they are to me knowing that my blog continues to serve the purpose I intended. With each new email I have often wondered if perhaps I should begin blogging again. Why not continue to offer a message of hope? There are so many wonderful things I could share since completing my journey. So...here I am. Renewed and Refreshed. I hope all of you who joined me on my journey with breast cancer will now join me in the journey of life. I am so excited for all that God has planned and how He will continue to use my blog to bring hope to others. God Bless!!

One Final Post: Goodbye To My breast cancer Journey

I have been debating for about a week now on whether or not I should continue posting on this blog. The original purpose of this blog was to document my journey with breast cancer. I wanted a place to express my fears, my anxieties, my faith, and much more. I wanted to inspire others going through the same thing and I wanted to share all the ways in which God touched my life and the life of my family. In addition, I wanted to create this blog so that one day I could share it with my daughter, Charley. Because breast cancer is prevalent within my family, I do not know what the future holds for Charley. My hope and prayer is that she will never have to look breast cancer in the face. However, if that day should ever come, I want her to be able to read what was written in this blog and feel as confident and faithful as I did.

Now that my reconstruction surgery is complete, I am officially on the other side of what began almost 7 months ago. I have no idea what 2009 will bring and will not hesitate to add a posting if necessary. So, I would encourage you to check back occasionally. What I do know is that I am ready to resume a life that breast cancer is not a part of. For that reason, this will be my last posting. I will never forget all the people that I met and came to know throughout this journey. I will never forget all the meals that were provided, the cards that were sent with love, and all the different ways people showed Ryan, Charley, and myself grace. I will never forget how my mom and dad encouraged me everyday. I will never forget how Ryan stood by my side as he watched chemotherapy suck the life out of me. I will never forget how he supported and loved me in a way that I could never have imagined. I will never forget how 2008 changed my life.

I am a breast cancer survivor. My prayer is that as more and more women are diagnosed with breast cancer, they will somehow come across my blog and read from beginning to end how a woman in her 20's fought and won the battle. I hope other women will recognize the importance of being proactive. Most importantly, I hope all that read this blog will realize that all things are possible in Christ who strengthens them. God Bless!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Happy New Year!

The past two days I have been trying to heal from my surgery. I have been REALLY sore - more than I expected. In fact, this surgery has been much more painful than my mastectomy. I do feel better today than I have the past two days. I came out of surgery wearing a very stylish bra that I am lucky enough to get to wear 24 hours a day for another week. Ugh. I will say that it is holding everything together very nicely.

This morning I got to see my new friends for the first time. I have to say I am very impressed. When I got home I was a little worried that I looked flat. Now that I have taken the guaze off, I can honestly say that I am pleased. My mom called me a couple of days ago advising me not to post any pics of my new friends on the blog. Don't worry mom, the thought of doing that had not even crossed my mind, although I know some of you out there are curious! I have to say the best part of it all is that my breast now feel like.......breast! No more cannon balls! I am looking forward to buying some new bras and some new clothes in the coming weeks!

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve. I had never really thought much about New Year's Eve or New Year's Day. However, this year really symbolizes a new beginning. 2009 will be a year to remember for different reasons! Happy New Year!

The FINAL Chapter......Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!!

Well, I finally made it. December 29Th.......a day that I have been anxiously waiting for. This morning I will have surgery to replace my tissue expanders with implants. For those of you who have been keeping up with my blog, you know that I have not been a fan of the tissue expanders. First of all, they are rock hard.....and I am not kidding! Second, they have made my newly formed breasts very uneven. The purpose of the tissue expanders is to stretch the skin and that is about it. So, for more than five months I have walked around with what feels like cannon balls on my chest, absolutely no cleavage, and two "breasts" that are somewhat disfigured. However, today is a new day! I'm not exactly sure how long the procedure will take, but my plastic surgeon will remove the expanders, clean out all the scar tissue, hopefully create some cleavage (can you believe they can do that?) and then slip in some nice silicone implants. In addition, he is also going to remove my port. This is almost as exciting as getting new boobs. My port represents the beginning of this journey. It was the first thing I had put in just a few weeks after my diagnosis. It was used at every chemo treatment. Today, I get to kiss it goodbye.

I am so happy to be able to close out 2008 by having this surgery before the New Year. 2008 was not a very good year for our family or for many of our friends. Yesterday morning at church, Pastor Curt gave a sermon on being thankful. He explained how we are to be thankful in all of our circumstances, not just those that go our way. I have not been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, however, I have tried my best to be thankful for what God has done for me. I often think of all the prayers he has answered and am amazed by His graciousness and mercy. Yesterday Ryan and I were talking how in the midst of all the grief, pain, uncertainty, and doubt, that God continued to pull us through and ultimately made things easy for us. Please don't think for a second that the past 6 months were a walk in the park. However, because of our relationship with God and all the people praying for us, we were able to make it through this journey with our heads held high and with an end in sight. Praise God!

December 29Th has always been a significant day in our house. Ryan and I were married 7 years ago today. We could NEVER have imagined what our 7Th year of marriage would bring. Nor, could we ever have imagined that on our 7Th wedding anniversary I would be getting implants. (Happy Anniversary Ryan!) In addition to our anniversary, our daughter Charley is 2 1/2 today. I was diagnosed two weeks before her second birthday. To think that she is 2 1/2 today is just another reminder of how quickly the past six months have gone by. I am looking forward to being the mother and wife I was before my diagnosis....only better!

In closing, I am going to paste an older post below. This was the post that I did the morning before I went to the hospital for my bilateral mastectomy on July 16Th. That was a hard day, but also the day I became cancer free. When I left the hospital two days later, I still had a four months of chemotherapy ahead of me. Tonight when I leave the hospital, I have life ahead of me. I hope those of you who have continued to follow this blog have found yourself inspired. I hope you have found encouragement in the midst of your own trials. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. ~ God Bless ~

Blog Entry: July 16Th 2008

Would you believe that I actually slept for about 4 hours last night? God was gracious in giving me at least that much sleep. I did wake up a little earlier than I had hoped, but now I am able to squeeze one more post in before heading to the hospital. This is it. Today God is taking this awful cancer from my body and I am faithful that I will never have to worry about cancer again. Thank you Lord.

Most of you know my husband Ryan, but for those of you who do not, let me tell you that he is the most compassionate and loving man I know. Yesterday, he sent me an email that really portrays who he is as a person. I wanted to share it with all of you so you would know the strength and encouragement that I am so very fortunate to have from Ryan. Here is the email that he sent me:

"Mel, you are more than a conqueror! You are guided by God....you cannot lose....He battles for you! Be comforted, accept the peace He offers you through this journey...its yours for the taking.

I, along with our entire family, are backing you up 100%!!

Thank you for what you are doing about this breast cancer...THANK YOU!!! I can't wait to see the look on Charley's face one of these days when she realizes how much her Mommy loves her!!! That will be a great day!

Stay strong, there are many people who are relying on you right now. As for Charley and I, no worries, no drama.....just know we love you and will be by your side for every moment of this! We look forward to NOON tomorrow....cancer free."

Lord, thank you for Ryan. Thank you for giving me such a loving husband who stands firm in his faith and sees the goodness you are bringing to our family through this unfortunate circumstance. We know that this is all a part of your perfect plan for my life. Lord, be with me this morning. Take every ounce of this cancer from my body. I pray that the cancer would still be contained to the breast. Be with Dr. Cavagnol and Dr. Geter as you use them to heal me and make me whole. Be their hands and comfort them as they work on me. Bring me strength and healing Lord. Let this be a day of celebration as you heal me from cancer. Allow peace to overcome fear and perseverance to overcome doubts. God you are so good. I love you. Continue to use me to further you kingdom. Amen.

Time to be CANCER FREE!!!